The Promised Land of the Sinner
by PrincessZidet
Summary: Alphonse has gone through so much over the years. That night and all these years have passed by. In his mind..He has made his own world to stand by in when he feels lost and alone.Edward catches a glimpse of this world in his brothers journal. Please RR!


Zidet: Alright.. I figured I should have a little inside thought about Alphonse. And so..low and behold..Here we are. I do hope you like it. Just from Al's point of view and how he might think...(cough) After handling a bit to much...

Disclaimer- Princess Zidet does not own Fullmetal alchemist or..yeah...I don't own..it.. And no..this is not Elricest in case that what it starts to look like. Just simple brotherly love. Enjoy!

Please read and review

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Eternal Paradise.

The Promised Land of the sinner.

That's what I liked to call this place. This is my dream. My fantasy. My world. It is where I go when I am hurt or lost. It is where I go to feel safe. Maybe not always happy..still safe.

It is where brother cant tell me how to look when it comes to the ways of the world. This is my own world. My paradise. It is where Sensei can't tell me how to use my words and correct my actions. It is something I will always learn how to do on my own.

In this paradise..History stays in the past. Death is not an issue here...And like the armored body my soul is contained within..This form knows no fatigue.

For once..Alchemy and science can't tell me how life works. It may be enough for brother to go by...and accept. But when one has to go through life behind the eyes of a empty shell,I do believe you long for so much more. If this spirit attachement was possible... Wouldn't that leave openings for so much more,brother?

In this..Eternal Paradise.. Time will stop,yet not affecting the movement of my world,the ocean,the wind. It all still moves. A split time forever.

Here,people won't stare. People won't question me. There is nobody left to criticize me.

Paradise,though very peaceful,has some strange things. Mysterious as it may seem.. The first part of it includes a vast ocean;shorelines of a beach. In my mind every grain of sand feels like a feather. Every footstep is like a mark on our moon.

Perhaps the most exotic part of this strange world is the two halves. Cut down from the middle of my ocean is the vertical axis. A split. One side of the ocean is nightfall and the other sunset. It almost reminds me of the two worlds heaven and hell. One side of fire and the other calm smooth sided ice.

Each reflection as a different expression. On the starlit side,the moon shines down on the water giving the illusion of human tears on the surface. All the tears that have fallen over the years. The tears that have fallen for so many reasons. Not just me and yours,brother.

Nina..

Winry.

Rose.

Mom.

Nina..Nina's tears had fallen I'm sure when she realized her dad was going through that transmutation. I saw her crying when we had to leave that day as well. And I'm sure she had tears that could be felt but not seen when she no longer had a human body to call her own. But I know how that feels. I have known for a long time. Me and brother..are sorry,Nina..

Winry has cried for us when we could not. Neither of us could show any sadness around her so she did it for us. I know brother seemed annoyed when she did this. But I know deep down he liked to be reassured that we were still cared for by someone. Anyone.. We think differently from people. We work differently. But that does not mean we don't desire love...I know brother would probably stare at me funny if I said anything like that to him face to face. So..that's why I am putting it here. So I will never forget..that we need it to.

Rose's tears fell from pain at what we had done. I suppose she accused us of taking away the only hope she held onto. But when I look into her eyes closely I see that she really does now know what we have done was for the better. Me and brother tried to smooth her path of life to keep her from stumbling. We tried to keep her from falling to hard..I was afraid she wouldnt be able to get up if we let that happen. I think brother felt the same way. We have already fallen and pulled ourselves back up from a violent fall. But we had eachothers help. Who would be there to pick Rose up?

Mom has passed on. We both know that. What tears are left? I know what they are. They remind me everytime..just how far out of reach she is now. How powerless we are to try and bring her back from the other side. And just like her smile.. just like her gentle embrace. I could no longer feel them after she left this world. And now..the tears that fall come from the sky have become yours. The rain will hit my hollow body.. But I cant feel them. I can only hear them. Just like my mind. I can still hear you mom..But I cant feel you anymore. We cant see that smile ever again... I sometimes wonder if the tears she sheds for us are tears of pain..or joy.?

Aside from all the tears I see..The sunset side resembles a lonely yet peaceful hell. The water on this side look like calming flames. But none that could ever hurt me. It is nothing but a mirror image of the opposite side. But.. Is that boy on the otherside just a reflection as well?

The boy on the nightside beach looks like it would be me. But.. he has my body. How can that be if my soul stays here in this empty one?

This boy..he doesn't smile. He is not angry. He just looks sad. But that can't be right. Why would he look sad,brother? Wouldn't I be happy if I was back in that body? Wouldn't I feel comfortable?

When I think about it enough I wonder if that boy on the other side is just a hollow shell as well. Waiting for its soul to return to it. I wondered if it was my soul it was waiting for? If that was the truth.. Then I'm close... But I don't know how to do it. How do I return to that body when it does nothing but mirror my movements? Every step I take,he does as well.

As he copies my movements I notice he has his own tears to shed as well. If I was a naturally envious person I would almost start to believe he was taunting me. Teasing me. Because he could cry.and I can't. I want to..But I can't.

What makes me angry is that everything I do... He does better. He has a human body. Of course everything that is done will look more put together and fitting. In this body of mine that I was placed with that horrible night. This one moves so much more awkwardly . Every step is loud. Every turn seems to take forever. Its like things move in slow motion behind these eyes.

When my longing for that nightside beach becomes to much,I move to that side to place my soul into the empty vessel. I want to see if he is real. I want to see if his body is really there. If those tears are true. But when I cross that side.. He is gone. He fades away the moment I step over.

Out of reach. Just like that stone..Just like mom..

That boy's name is Alphonse. He never comes to my side. The sunset.. never.

Yet aside from my mirror image, I begin to wonder the true nature of this Eternal Paradise again.

On the shoreline of each side at it's end of the ocean waters is a waterfall. One for the night sky. And one for the blazing fire sky. The smooth rocks fitting in together to form this.

The moonlit side of this world has water that falls like shattered glass upon impact. The sunset's waters appear more as liquid fire. Quick to fall though watching both sides was something I never wanted to take my eyes off of. If only brother could see such a sight. Would he think I was crazy? Or would he agree with me?

I see all of this behind reality's eyes. The waves,the wind,the ocean. The setting sun and moon.

This world..This paradise,I constructed piece by piece. Image upon image. And in those pieces;those fragments. He is there too. Brother.. I sometimes feel like I am missing someone. Winry? Granny? Mom? But How could they come? They wouldn't understand. Maybe mom could.. But she was somewhere else... so far away.

Now alone on this beach with my brother we talk about the times when we were younger. The times when we stayed at home with mom.The days when we would run outside and play with Winry. There was no talk about death. No talk about that stone. And no words of pain. I may still be in this body as I stand here..But..brother is here... And..since he is in this world with me.. that must mean that the body on the other side can return to me one day. As long as her is here.. As long as he stays.

This world is not heaven..It is not hell. It is not even purgatory. Me and brother have not passed on yet. I am still here. I still reside in this material world...soul alone.

I sit down on the beach,the corners of my eyes glancing over at the boy on the other side who still copies my every movement. I do wonder if one day I wont have to see that reflection. That physical form so far away from me. I hope one day.. to be that reflection... to be that form. And not this hollow one I have become. But first.. me and brother must make up for the sins we have commited. And our sins..have taken the form of one who was so close to us...Brother..what will you do..?

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Edward snapped the small book shut quickly,sitting back in the chair eyes closed. It was wrong to have read something that was only for Al's eyes. But maybe this would help him understand his brother in this body a little more now.

The sun outside began to set,making way for the moonlit sky. But where was that boy..? Where was...Alphonse?

Ed shook his head sadly,pushing himself up heading immediatly for the bed. Al would be back soon. So until then..

"Yes brother...What will I do...?"

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Zidet: Alright... a lot of you are saying ..'what?' Yeah yeah I know.It's weird..You kinda have to think outside of the box..Its actually really simple.. Its just Al going into a world all his own away from the real world and seeing what he wants and what he needs.The two sides of the beach was like one world he had long ago. and the one he is in now. The waterfall and everything was just a standing point to connect the two. Like a dangerous but possible way to get across. Not just by simply walking over like he was trying to do. If you still don't get it..then..I suck.. XD. But please..please no flames. And read and review! If you dont mind (smiles)


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